Grit By Name and By Nature

Lifestyle

The Acne Series Part 1: How to Deal

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no makeup today^

no makeup 2 years ago^

The journey to healing skin is not a short one. For me, it took over a year. Yes, you read that right, A YEAR.

I know that when you have severe acne, every day can feel like an eternity. So along my journey to healed skin, I developed some methods for dealing with my skin’s unpredictable temper tantrums and impact over my emotional well-being.

I really wanted to post about how to DEAL with acne before I explained how I healed my acne, because I thinks it’s really important that you don’t to continue to be miserable during the year that your skin is healing.

And don’t worry, I’m not going to tell you that “only you notice it” or “it’s so much worse in your own eyes” because I know from experience that saying those things will make you feel 0% better. What I’m going to do is share with you some tips and tricks that helped me manage my breakouts and my emotional reactions through the healing process.

Steps to dealing with your acne:

  • Take a break.
  • Strategize your foundation game.
  • Acknowledge the lighting and change it if needed.
  • Buy this weird skin mask.
  • Eat more.

Let’s dig into these a bit:

  • Take a break

I wouldn’t describe my personality type as “Type A”, but maybe a modification of “Type A” that I like to call “Type !!!!” I like to go hard, always.

If you’re also a “Type !!!!” or maybe a “Type !!!!!” or even a “Type !”, your persona  probably isn’t doing your acne any favors. And what I am about to tell you is probably one of your least favorite things to hear. Take a break.

Just over a year ago, my skin was especially bad. Work was particularly stressful, and I picked up one of the nasty flu bugs that went around last year. I fought it as long as I could, continuing to work out and dragging myself miserably through workdays, until my blessed C forced me to call in sick. I spent a whole week at home. I worked minimally from my coach when I felt up to it, focused on filling my body with healthy and healing foods, took off my Fitbit, and gave myself permission to veg. As predicted, at the end of the week I felt LOADS better. What I didn’t predict, however, was the impact it had on my face. My skin looked better than it had in years. And once more, I got my period for the first time in months! It was like mother nature was giving me a pat on the back in the form of that blessed female flow and glowing clear skin.

  • Strategize your foundation game.

Covering up your acne with a quality foundation can make you feel so much better. This is okay and it doesn’t make you shallow. If you deal with chronic acne, a little boost of confidence is the least that you can do for yourself. If you have a hot date, an outing with your girlfriends, or a big meeting at work, cover that shit up and walk in with your head held extra high. If you have chronic acne, I guarantee that using foundation here and there isn’t the cause of it.

Of course, life is about give and take, so also make note of times where you feel comfortable/secure enough to go without makeup. For me personally, I don’t wear foundation to work. Of course, I work with engineers, so I could probably wear a bikini to work and no one would notice a thing. So you find your times and do you.

  • Acknowledge the lighting and change it if needed.

This sounds crazy, I know, but it’s possible that the lighting in your bathroom is making you feel 100% worse about your skin. Our last apartment was a really… cost effective and… vintage… apartment. As such, the lighting was dated and harsh. And at work, I had the “pleasure” of working in a LEED Platinum building. Which translates to freakishly white LED bathroom lighting.

Then one day, I visited my great aunt in AZ and I convinced myself that the dry air healed my skin because I was feeling sooo much more confident when I looked in the mirror. I was ecstatic and gushed to C about my revelation.

When I got home, however, I realized that my skin didn’t change, the lighting did. At first, I was disappointed, but then I decided to use the revelation to my advantage. I started to do my makeup in the natural light of my bedroom and at work, I used the bathroom on the floor below mine (a peasantry LEED Gold floor with much kinder bathroom lighting). It sounds stupid, I know. But it’s something that caused me no further inconvenience and made me feel SO much better about my skin. Acne sucks. You don’t need to let it make you feel worse than it already does.

  • Buy this weird skin mask

Masks are HOT right now. You can find them on the shelves of almost any chi-chi goods store or organic grocer. These products range from $5-$25 dollars (STEEP) and I’m not going to lie to you and tell you that I haven’t indulged in the occasional over-the-top skin mask. I’m also not going to lie to you and tell you that it changed my life and turned my skin around after its one use. I will tell you, that this is exactly what I felt like afterward:

If you want a mask that’s really going to help your skin without putting you out on the streets, do yourself a favor and buy this stuff:

Honestly, I don’t even remember how I found out about this mask because it was before the days of Instagram and I know they don’t carry it in stores anymore. But thank GOD I did because it soothed my skin when nothing else could.

Look, I KNOW it’s not made with manuka honey and I KNOW I can’t pronounce 90% of the ingredients on its ingredient list. It’s probably chalk full of products that will give my babies extra limbs but WHATEVER I just don’t care because it’s a whopping $1.80 to purchase online, it lasts me months, and during my worst breakouts, I can use this to soothe and clear my skin. Trust me, blogiverse friends. It’s worth every one of the 8 quarters it costs. Do yourself a favor. Buy the mask. Cover your skin in it’s mystery ingredients. Watch magic happen.

  • Eat more.

This is more about healing and less about dealing. If you struggle with chronic acne, its not because you’re touching your face, or because you’re not washing your pillow case enough, or because you wear too much makeup. When people offer these things to you as a solution, I give you full permission roll your eyes and walk away.

Your chronic acne IS NOT YOUR FAULT. More likely than not, there’s something a little coocoo going on with your hormones.

The first time I went to the doctor for my acne, I was told to wash my face with Dove soap and use a moisturizer.

…….. k great real thankful for all 12 years of your medical education super helpful.

The second time I went to a doctor for my acne, I was diagnosed with PCOS and prescribed birth control which made me feel TERRIBLE and didn’t really help my skin.

Finally, I splurged and went to a naturopath who performed a 500$ urine test that showed that I had a candida overgrowth. She put me on an extremely restrictive diet and, surprise-surprise, my acne got worse.

In an all-hands-in-the-air attempt, I made an appointment with an extremely well-reviewed doctor, an appointment for which I waited over three months. The doctor was very kind and listened to my woes.

And then what happened? Well I left with a prescription for an anti-depressant which is really funny when you think about it but really, REALLY not funny when you think hard about it.

If you’ve read some of my other posts, you know that I have struggled in the past with episodes of disordered eating, and in particular, prolonged restriction. Restriction really fucks with your hormones and hormones really fuck with your skin. I notice after a vacation, where I am eating more and relaxed about it, my face is always at its clearest.  That’s why I did a reverse diet to get my body back to a healthy hormonal state.

The first thing doctors or health professionals will tell you when you are experiencing hormonal acne is to cut out “inflammatory” foods such as dairy, gluten, and sugar. And if you truly have allergies surrounding these foods, then yes, cutting them out will probably stop you from breaking out in rashes. But odds are you don’t.

Of course, I believe in eating whole foods as much as possible but having some cheese on your salad or enjoying a Mediterranean wrap for lunch isn’t going to cause your skin to break out. Cutting out entire foods groups, eating a caloric deficient for an extended period of time, and stressing out about what you’re putting in your body, however, will.

So please fuel your body, give it what it needs, and it may surprise you.


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Quarantine Calendar

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[Click here to skip the blog post and get your own Quarantine Calendar]

I have something I need to get off my chest.

I have been LOVING this quarantine.

&& this came as a VERY unexpected surprise. You probably know by now that I don’t sit well. “Staying in” is definitely not my forte. But HOLY smoke-stakes batman, I’ve been LOVING IT ALL.

I love having C at home working with me, I love my at home strength workouts (back to my resistance band roots HOLLA), I love getting creative with pantry ingredients, and I have been loving the excuse to spend more time at home doing things purely for the sake of bringing joy.

It’s amazing what a little pattern interruption can do for the soul 😊

One thing that C n I did that has made a HUGE difference for our household has been our Quarantine Calendar, a 5-week calendar with one intentional activity each day meant to bring joy. We have yoga, art, guitar, photography lessons, skateboarding, baking… and it all makes me smile!

Look, I love TikTok and Tiger King as much as the next person, but the amount of screen time I was getting in was making me feel sooo lethargic and blahhh. Having something to look forward to every day has been a COMPLETE game changer (also it has really helped us to remember what day of the week it is… #yolo)

Our calendar originated on a chalkboard that we already had in our apartment, but because I love n adore you all, I’ve put a digital copy up on the blog. Filling it out was a complete blast (because who doesn’t want to ask themselves “what do I want to do on this day?” 35 times in a row?) and it has already proven to be WELL WORTH the 15 minute investment.

I even put up our actual calendar (in digital version) so if you’re feeling stuck, feel free to steal ours! (although there are some location-based items so… yeah)

Click here to get your Quarantine Calendar downloads!

HAPPY FRIYAY internetmigos!

Gritention Setting: The Program

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HOORAY you did it! You have an intention, so we can FINALLY get started on this journey together!!

Before I hand over your 8-week intention setting toolkit, here’s how the program works:

It’s an eight-week program focused on ONE intention. The program, however, will be broken up into four 2-week periods, during which we will focus on applying your intention. This means that at the end of the program, you will have up to four different applications of your intention incorporated into your week.

It’s important to start with small bites, one at a time, until you get to the end of the 8 weeks and you’ve eaten the whole damn slice of avocado toast AMIRITE.

PLEASE refrain from trying to implement 101 things at once. You’ll crash and burn. Take this from someone who loves n adores n believes in you: you WILL crash and burn. It may not happen right away, but it will happen.

So here’s how it goes:

At the beginning of each 2-week period, you will choose a method of implementing your intuition that averages out to NO MORE THAN 15-MINUTES A DAY.

Did you hear me?

No more than 15-minutes/day.

Should I say it again?

NO MORE THAN 15-MINUTES PER DAY, PERIOD.

That means that at the end of the 8 weeks, your total time commitment will be NO MORE than 1 hr/day (4 intentions, MAX 15 MINS EACH). In fact it will probably be less!

Now let’s say your intention is: I nourish myself with movement and food that make me feel vibrant, and your first method of implementation is taking a 15-minute walk every other day. If you get out on your walk, and it’s a beautiful day, tunes are bumpin, and you’re really feelin yourself okayyyyyyyy💁🏽‍♀️ then by all means, keep walking sista/mista/inbetwista! BUT, don’t change all future commitments to match your longer walk.

Program Overview

Big picture, the program looks something like this (don’t worry, your toolkit will walk you through this all step by step):

  • Before you start: Fill out intention, complete your first 2-week calendar.
  • Week 1-2: Implement Intention Application #1
  • Week 3-4: Continue Intention Application #1, implement Intention Application #2
  • Week 5-6: Continue Intention Application #1 & #2, implement Intention Application #3
  • Week 7-8: Continue Intention Application #1 & #2 & #3, implement Intention Application #4

Resist the urge to commit to all four of your intention implementations at the beginning of week one. It’s a great idea to brainstorm and jot down some options, but you may find that as you progress through the weeks, your intention changes slightly (or entirely). It’s key to stay flexible so that your intention continues to serve you. We will do a quick reflection at the end of each two-week period to check in on our intention and its applications.

The Gritention Setting Toolkit

Now to keep you organized, I’m providing a PDF toolkit to help you track, document, and reflect this journey. The toolkit is comprised of the following items:

  • Intention Statement Sheet
  • Calendar Breakdown
  • Your key to success: 3-MISP
INTENTION STATEMENT

First things first: you need to write down your intention and put it somewhere where you see it every day. Bathroom mirror, bedside table, work computer, phone background, husband’s forehead , I don’t care. I have provided a beautiful print out for you if you ❤ pretty things. But a post-it note works gr8 too. Because I love you all and know that the kids don’t use “hard copies” these days, I have also provided an image optimized for an Apple screen on which you can type your intentions using markups. If you don’t have an iPhone, I respect but do not understand you; you’re just going to have to figure that one out on your own😘

CALENDAR BREAKDOWN

The second PDF is a calendar breakdown of your journey. It contains:

  • An 8-week overview so you can cross off days as you progress (we all love doing that, don’t we?😊)
  • Separate, more detailed calendars for each 2-week period. The PDF guides you through each day and is v straightforward to fill out.
YOUR KEY TO SUCCESS: THE 3-MISP

Now for the MOST important part: every day, we are going to start w/ a 3–Minute Intention Setting Practice (or as I like to call it, 3-MISP). I promise you, it will take no more than 3 (three) minutes, and it will guarantee that every single day will be a success, no matter what happens throughout the rest of the day.

So we will begin each day the same way.

Step 1: Take a deep (DEEP) breath in. Aim for at least 6 counts as you inhale. Pause at the top of your breath, and breath your intention out, fully. You don’t need to actually say it out loud, but think it, and think it HARD. Really push your intention out into the world with your breath. Breath ALL that stale air out of your lungs. Witth force💪 

Step 2: Check in on your calendar and what you have scheduled for the day.

Step 3: Take a hot second to visualize how you will implement your intention today. Visualize implementing your intention in first person. While this will take mere seconds, performing this visualization will have an extremely powerful impact. If you don’t believe me, check out these studies, they’re wild.

And that’s it! Less than three minutes and you’ve already succeeded for the day 😊 Anything beyond these three minutes are just bonus.

SO ARE WE READY TO GET STARTED OR WHAT?! 😊 😊 😊

Get your Toolkit here:

Your Intention Statement (remember, a post-it note works too 😊)

The Gritention-Setting Calendar

How to Choose an Intention

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Look, deep down, I think you already know what your intentions are/should be for these 8 weeks or you wouldn’t have clicked on this program in the first place. And if you already have one, PLEASE by all means, skip this whole page and dive right into the program.

But if intention setting is new to you, it can be a bit confusing and overwhelming. Here are some steps to help you set your own, individualized intention:

STEP ONE

If you’ve had the same goal for a long time, try to dig down to the WHY of that goal and use that as the basis of your intention.

i.e., let’s say you have a goal of “I want to lose 10 lbs” (you all know I have a visceral reaction to weight loss goals BUT I’m also a realist && I know it’s one of the most common ones out there).

But do you really just want to lose 10lbs for the sake of losing 10lbs? Probably not. REALLY think about why you want to lose 10lbs. Are you trying to increase confidence? Feel more vibrant? Be accepted by others? Instead of setting that weight loss goal, you can set an intention that looks something like:

  • I am confident.
  • I have meaningful connections with others.
  • I nourish myself with movement and food that make me feel vibrant.
  • I show up with energy for the world.
  • I am open to new opportunities and relationships.
STEP TWO

Another thing that can be helpful in intention setting is picturing your truest self. I KNOW that you may think I’m getting a little “woo woo” here, but bear with me. When I hit rock bottom with my eating disorder, I took out a box of LITERAL crayons and drew an image of who I envisioned my truest self to be. And let me tell ya, she wasn’t on a diet nor was she concerned about her pant-size. I still have it, I still revisit it, and no one, not even C, has seen it.

Don’t worry, you don’t need to draw a picture or locate a box of crayons. Instead, just grab a sheet of scrap paper or open Notes on your phone (I think that’s what the youths do these days?) and start jotting down the first words that come to mind. What do these words say about your truest self? Are you peaceful? Connecting with others? Experiencing nature? Creating something? Just LOOK at all that beautiful intention potential:

  • I am creative and share this with the world.
  • I am courageous.
  • I am at peace with myself and others.
  • I show acts of kindness and bring joy to the lives of others.
  • My mind is open to the world.
  • I take care of myself so I can show up for others.
STEP THREE

And finally, if you’re sitting there thinking “wtf Grit you’ve completely lost me”, well, then let’s stick to the most basic of basics. Just think about your values. What are the things that matter the most to you? Intentions can be incredibly simple:

  • I am loyal.
  • I am kind.
  • I am honest.
  • I show up for others.
  • I care for the environment.
  • I am impactful.
  • I work hard.

So you see, your intention can be as broad or as narrow as you like. Unlike goals, intentions are limitless. And don’t stress too much about it, because we will be revisiting our intentions throughout this program. Setting your first intention is only the beginning of a beautiful journey 😊

As always, if you’re really struggling with this, don’t hesitate to slide into my DMs (or shoot me an email) and we can come up with an intention together.

So let’s get into this program, shall we? 😊

What is an Intention?

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According to the world wide interweb, an intention is: “a thing intended; an aim or plan.”

Lolz SUPER HELPFUL RIGHT.

So, what exactly is an intention?

An intention is a guiding statement for how you want to show up in the world. Intention setting is quite different than goal setting, in that it isn’t comprised of a singular tangible task, but instead, a desire expressed by the head and the heart.

The beautiful thing about intention setting is that you lead with the “why”, not the “what”. When you’re guided by an intention, as opposed to a goal, you can be more compassionate with yourself and authentic to your values and beliefs. Let me give you an example:

Say that you set a goal of running three times a week for 8 weeks.

Week 1-3 go great! You run three times each week and feel strong.

But then Week 4 hits, and you notice a pain in your left foot. You run once and it gets worse. But you have a goal of three runs per week, so you lace up anyway and run yourself *BAM* right into a stress fracture.

So, you take a few weeks off before getting the official thumbs up to run again. But it’s cloudy, you’re feeling a bit tired, and they just released Season 2 of Sex Education on Netflix. You don’t really like running and don’t feel like running just for the sake of running. You’ll run tomorrow. Or the next day. Or maybe you’ll never run again for the rest of your life. I mean, you’ve already missed WEEKS so isn’t this goal already an epic failure anyway?

Now let’s say that instead of setting a goal of running three times a week, you set an intention: “I move my body to encourage strength and health”. Running three times a week can absolutely foster and support this intention, but you’re still supporting the intention if you find yourself with a pain in your foot and choose to rest, or if you choose a different form of movement. In this way, setting an intention helps you keeping moving forward in a variety of ways—ways that allow yourself grace—instead of feeling as though you’ve failed on a path to a goal.

Make sense?

Now look, I’m a chronic achiever and 100% get off on setting and achieving goals. If you’ve navigated to my page, you probably relate to that in some way, shape, or form. While goal-setting definitely has a time and a place, it has gotten me into some real trouble in the past. Cue insane diets, over exercise, work burnout, broken bones, torn ligaments, loss of a social life, etc. etc.

Intention setting really changed my life. Nobody is meaner to me than me, and I KNOW you feel me here. Unlike goal setting, where I can easily set myself up for loads of self-shaming and negative self-talk, intention setting allows me to feel a sense of accomplishment, while leaving room for little surprises that help me generate new energy in ways I never expected.

So now we are officially ready to get started! First things first, you need to identify your intention for these 8 weeks! If you need help with that, ya girls got your back:

How do I pick an intention that’s right for me?

I have my intention, bring on the program!

Tools for Embracing Your Off-Season

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Veedauwoo Wyoming Grit Walking

Taking off-seasons from training is incredibly important. Our body and our minds need time to rest and recover. Really, they NEED it. And if you’re like me and have tried your best to run *literally* from them, well then, your body will put you in check without your consent via injury, mental burnout, or illness.

As I’m sure you’ve heard me say 101 times by now on this blog, I spent years fighting my body. Taking a DAY to rest felt like a failure, not to mention taking weeks to rest. Eventually my body would hit a breaking point and I’d be forced into a sedentary state by an injury. Or my mind would burn out from the daily strain and I found myself with NO motivation to move for months at a time. The result was always the same: a mixture of guilt, failure, and shame that made it nearly impossible to get back into the gym.

Veedauwoo Wyoming Tree

Now let’s fast forward to today, where I listen to my body instead of my ego. Now when I need a rest day(s) here and there, I take it. And when my body is feeling tired or my mind is feeling weak, I take a couple weeks off or I change my training entirely.

And guess what? I’m stronger, faster, and CALMER than ever.

Veedauwoo Wyoming Grit Laughing

Look, I still get occasional injuries in my training that leave me feeling stuck and frustrated, but I have worked hard to develop tools that allow me to EMBRACE the break instead of beating myself up over it.

Because at the end of the day, it’s no secret that periods of rest are beneficial to the body. Studies show consistently that athletes who periodize their training see improved performance, increased muscles gains, and a decrease in body fat.

Every peak needs a valley, or it isn’t a peak at all! Whether the break your taking is intentional or not, you can use the following tools to embrace the off-season and make yourself stronger than ever.

Veedauwoo Wyoming Fence

TOOL #1: Shift your focus to non-fitness related wellness

When I am training intensely, I’m spending around an hour at the gym 5 days a week. If you consider the gym-prep, transportation, and post-gym routine, that’s at least two hours a day that I’m dedicating to the gym.

That’s AT LEAST 10 hours a week.

THAT’S A LOT OF HOURS!!

When I die, I really don’t want my tombstone to read: Grit Phillips spent a lot of time at the gym. So when I take a break from the training, I really try to focus that energy on other aspects of my life. Take the extra hours to call or visit good friends. Volunteer in your community. Learn a new skill. You won’t feel guilty about missing your daily run if you’re helping a friend through a hard time or busting out some new tunes on the piano, I guarantee it. There are more ways to grow than physically, and your off-season is the perfect way to explore what growth can look like for you.

TOOL #2: Reflect on your previous training season

This is particularly useful when I am “forced” into an off-season. If I’m injured or if I am completely lacking motivation, it’s really important to reflect on why that has happened, so I don’t repeat the same mistakes in the future.

Sometimes I am pushing myself too hard and overriding my body’s queues. Sometimes I’m performing moves that are outside of my skill level. Sometimes my goals are not suited to my lifestyle. No matter the reason, it’s OKAY TO ADJUST. I got 99 goals but hurting myself ain’t one, like what.

Figuring out what works for you and what doesn’t is an extremely powerful tool. Look back at what went well, be grateful for those things, and jot them down for future use. Look back at what went wrong, think about why that happened, and jot those down too. This will be extremely useful for future training (CLIFF HANGER AMIRITE).

TOOL #3: Recover

Okay I know this one is kind of obvious, especially if you’re injured, but it’s also shockingly easy to forget. Every time you workout, you’re LITERALLY tearing your muscles. So OF COURSE your body needs extended periods to recover and strengthen!

And it’s hella important to remember that this goes beyond your muscles. Your brain (and entire central nervous system tbh) needs time to recover. A hard workout takes a lot out of you. Sometimes setting PRs is truly scary. Will I get this barbell over my head? Or will I be rushed off to the hospital in an unconscious state? YOUR GUESS IS AS GOOD AS MINE.

This all takes a toll on the central nervous system, which takes FIVE TIMES as long to recover from stress than your muscles. So if your body needs a day to rest every week, then REALLY your mind needs 5. FIVE. That adds up real quick friends.

So instead of adding to that mental stress by beating yourself up over taking some time off, high-five your CNS. Give her a big hug. Tell her how much you appreciate her. And trust me, come your next training season, you will be greatly rewarded.

TOOL #4: Set a solid foundation for new and exciting goals

I saved this one for last because it is truly deeply my absolute favorite one. Setting new goals is SO EXCITING and who doesn’t love putting together a good plan 😊 😊

Remember those items we jotted down as a part of Tool #2? Well now these come into play. Write down your new goal and what steps you need to take to get there. Think about what worked for you in your last training season and incorporate those things into your new plan. Look at your schedule and set realistic times during which you can work towards your new goal. You’ll be so excited to get started that by the time your rest period ends, you won’t even think twice about the time you took off.

So why beat ourselves up? We are just giving our body the recovery that it needs 😊 And when it’s time to get back into a training routine? Well there’s some tried and true tools for that too, and we will go over them in the next post in this series! Stay tuned, friends 😊

Camping Tips: How to Camp, but Barely

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Camping Tips: Grit camping in car

Internet friends, I’m afraid I have misled you.

There’s something I need to clarify: I don’t love camping.

I will camp. I tolerate camping. I’ll do it when it’s required by our travel destination (though let’s be real, usually it’s required by our pocketbooks #noshame)

But given the option of sleeping on the hard, cold ground vs a king-sized bed made by someone else in front of a TV with cable channels? Yeah 10/10 times going to choose the king-sized bed.

When I MUST camp (which tbh is most of the time) I like to think I barelyyyy camp.

Camping tips: Mount Rainier

C and I are well seasoned victims of ignorance re: camping. We have endured our fair share of suffer-fests to learn what constitutes the difference between a decent night’s sleep and 8 long, dark, and miserable hours of despair. We’ve camped in tropical storms without a rain tarp, we almost suffocated ourselves sleeping in a car below freezing, and we have woken up on night one of a FOUR DAY camping trip with signs of acute hypothermia.

So I guess what I’m trying to say is that C n I are idiots who learned a lot of things v fast the v hard way, and now you get to benefit from our suffering.

Camping Tips Grit and Chris in Tent

Because here’s the secret to camping: if you’re doing it right, it’s NOT THAT BAD and it will very quickly save you LITERALLY thousands of dollars and open so many doors to so many new adventures.

But don’t set yourself up for failure. Because it really only takes one bad night of sleep in a tent to (end a marriage jk) sour your outlook on camping forever.

So friends, straight from my misery to your eyeballs, the six camping tips we have found necessary for camping, but barely.

1. KOAs are a great option.

I think KOA stands for Kampgrounds of America, but the acronym really should be KAO for Kick-Ass Option. They’re typically a little more expensive than your basic campsite but they come with some awesome amenities like real bathrooms, a convenience shop, security, and real bathrooms (it needed to be said twice). They even have Kozy Kabins in addition to campsites (yeah okay, I know the K’s are a little much) if you prefer the “glamping” life.

The people I meet at KOAs are some of the coolest people I know. I’ve been given a beer by a guy biking across the United States, I’ve shared a fire with a couple spending their retirement traveling to the world’s most remote places in their minivan, and I’ve had my parking spot taken by someone who ran a marathon every weekend for an entire year.

Camping Tips: Grit next to lake

If you’re not super keen on remote camping or if you’re new to the camping gig, KOA’s are a great, secure option that will still save you $100+ on a hotel.

2. Bring your pillows

I know they take up a ton of space. I know it’s cumbersome to haul them around and to try to keep them in your car with your other camping things. I know they get dirty. But please, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, bring your pillows!!! C n I forgoed pillows for literally years. I’ve used sweatshirts, sleeping bag stuff sacks, and sometimes, well, C. But C convinced me (probably because he was sick of being demoted to mediocre pillow status) to bring our pillows on one of our camping trips and WOW GAME CHANGER. I slept like a baby. At home, your full-sized pillow is simply another bedtime accessory. In a tent, your pillow becomes a beautiful angelic beacon of luxury.

I AM NOT EVEN BEING DRAMATIC. Pillows are game changing.

3. Get a Sleeping Pad

All you REALLY need to camp is a tent and a sleeping bag, but there are a lot of expensive things you can buy for camping in addition to these two items. REI has discovered this and made a v successful business model out of the concept. But I promise you, your adventuresome lifestyle is NOT proportionate to the amount of money you spend on your camping gear.

Camping Tips: Grit by River

However, there is one thing I would say is worth investing in, and that is a sleeping pad. For one, it prevents you from feeling every lump and bump of the ground below you, but even more importantly, it elevates you off of a very, very cold ground. You’d be shocked at the temperature difference between a night with a sleeping pad and a night without. The affordable ones are a pain to travel with because they’re huge, and the ones sized for ease of travel cost a small fortune. Pick your poison and get one.

4. AUDIO BOOKS!!!!

This was a game changer for us. You’d think that after spending a day in the fresh air wiggling around in the mountains, it would take approximately 0.5 seconds to fall asleep. ALAS that is not often the case. Sometimes, campsites are really close together and you have rowdy neighbors. Sometimes, campsites are really far apart and you’re left questioning if every last noise you hear was just the wind? Or perhaps a bear? And sometimes, your all adrenalized from an epic day of adventuring and sleep is the furthest thing from your mind.

But when the sun goes down at a campsite, your activity options are limited. Especially these days, campfires are limited, and sometimes I just don’t need to spend 10 days smelling of campfire. And beyond that, there aren’t many activities you can do when it’s dark and freezing. But what you can do when your nestled in a dark tent under 15 layers of sleeping bag insulation? Listen to an audio book.

Camping Tips: Bear in campsite

They require almost zero battery from your phone, they don’t need data to play, and they can be set to a sleep timer so that, if after 15-minutes of being distracted from bear noises you fall asleep, the book will stop playing and your battery will be saved.

5. Desperate Times Call for Nyquil

Finna be real (remember when I said I would stop saying “finna” and then I didn’t actually stop saying “finna”? Me too, good times) even when you have a delish sleeping bag, a pillow suited for kings, and an expensive af sleeping pad, when it’s cold, you’re sleeping on the ground, and you’re protected by nothing more than some weird techy material fabric teepee, it can be very hard to fall asleep. And even harder to stay asleep.

In dire situations, C n I will use Nyquil. People always holler at me for this one and I get it, Nyquil isn’t exactly a “natural” way to enjoy our natural world. But look, if I spend multiple nights sleeping on and off in a fit of distress and wake up in the morning with MAYBE 3 hours of restful sleep, I’m not going to have the easiest time enjoying the natural world either.

Camping Tips: Reflective Lake

Sometimes you just need some mf sleep. And in those times, Nyquil will become your bae. Everything and more. Give me Nyquil or give me death (or give me a night in a hotel room).

6. ALWAYS Get a Decent Cup of Coffee

THIS. IS. IMPORTANT. If you are a coffee drinker, getting a good cup of coffee in morning will MAKE OR BREAK your day. But how you ask?

Well here’s a couple caffeinated pro tips: The lodges in the National Parks (that cost $$$$ to stay at) are open to everyone and you can roll out of your sleeping bag and into the lodge for a cup of coffee and a minute to warm up.

Camping Tips: Biodynamic Instant Coffee

If you’re in the middle of nowhere, make instant coffee your friend. You can get a cup of hot water at almost any gas station, or you can make one on your camping stove. And having your own great instant coffee is a game changer. My personal recommendation is Biodynamic Coffee by Holistic Roasters. They sent me a couple boxes to try a few months ago and I am officially hooked. All their packaging is compostable, their beans are grown without herbicides, fungicides, pesticides, or chemical fertilizers and they stand behind their policy by putting more into the land than what they take out of it. HOW FITTING to sip on some eco coffee whilst enjoying the natural wonders of our beautiful planet 😊

Traveling to new places and spending time outside is so important for mental and physical health. Don’t let the fear of camping hold you back! Take these camping tips and explore away, internet friends!

My (Being Married to Someone In) Law (School) Education

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My C is graduating [insert all the emotions here] and as I do for all major beginning and endings (and force everyone else to do to for all major beginnings and endings (and that includes the beginnings and endings of most days (and most meals (and most courses (I love reflecting))))) IT’S TIME TO REFLECT.

Supporting C throughout law school shocked me in so many ways. I learned far more about myself and my relationships through supporting C than I did in my own undergrad and grad school educations. 

Look, it’s a LONG post (three years is a long time, okay?!) so I’m going to cut this intro short and jump right into the most pertinent lessons I learned from (being married to someone in) law school. Check em out below😊

1. REFLECT A LOT.

I’m going to be honest, I didn’t reflect much until semi-recently and I started because (color me #foreverinfluenced) of Instagram. And WOW serendipitous timing because things would have been a lot harder for us if we hadn’t.

Reflecting allows you to express how you’re feeling and recognize thought patterns which is SO IMPORTANT.

Prime example:

To be completely honest, I was kind of the worst during C’s first summer’s internship. His company BALLED OUT on sick intern activities. We’re talking Disney Land, suites at Dodgers games, surfing lessons, and dinners at every last one of the cost-prohibitive restaurants scattered throughout El Lay. And as the summer progressed, I became more and more of a cranky goose about it.

After working a long day, I’d reheat leftovers, turn on Netflix, and then be barely awake when C would FINALLY get home, high on life n full of exciting tales of indoor sky diving and museums dedicated to ice cream. My brain started storing all these passive aggressive thoughts like “I work so hard and C just plays and play and plays” and “I want to indoor skydive instead of going to work”. LET ME TELL YA, I became a Snarky McSnarky Pants. And C became a withdrawn and mysterious turtle man.

It wasn’t until C n I started reflecting regularly that we realized 1. I was really royally struggling with this, 2. I was beating myself up over it because pity parties are gross and, 3. C was communicating with me less because he was feeling guilty over the way his fun was making me feel.

Our reflections gave C the opportunity to give me space for feeling jealous of his summer activities, it gave me the opportunity to express those feelings of envy in a calm and productive way, and it allowed us both to LET GO of the feelings of guilt surrounding the situation.

Building a relationship is like putting together Ikea furniture. It’s confusing, there’s multiple languages going on, and you aren’t provided with any real tools for assembly. Half the shit you do is, at best, an educated guess and you’re constantly having to go back and fix the things that you thought you had gotten right the first time around.

In this analogy, reflection is a powered hand drill. Why struggle through a very long assembly with a fake and slippery screwdriver provided with the assembly kit if there’s a power drill sitting right in front of you? Don’t do it. Don’t use Ikea’s fake n terrible tools. Pick up the drill. Get the work done faster and better with half the anguish and despair. Just reflect regularly, okay??? Okay. I’ll be done.

2. Survival mode is a luxury.

For the past three years, getting C through school has been our number 1 priority. Law school, obviously, is a huge financial burden, and that’s on top of the expenses of living in LA (……. Long Beach). And the work associated with law school is brutal (s/o to C here). It’s been a very humbling experience and has required that we seriously cut back on our expenses and accept help from other (EASIER SAID THAN DONE AMIRITE).

But an affordable life is a simple life. We haven’t accumulated things that anchor us to our apartment. We don’t have any expensive belongings that we need to worry about (I haven’t even had my engagement ring on me in over two years due to the lack of security in our apartment). We aren’t responsible for maintaining a house or for the lives of others.

These have been really fun years for C n I, years where we shared one main focus and one main goal. It has allowed us to come together and rally as a team. The experience as newlyweds was truly invaluable and has really forced us to set a foundation of clear values and priorities as a couple. I mean really, all newlyweds should go to law school!

(Just kidding.)

(Seriously.)

(Don’t do it.)

3. There are few greater gifts in life than being depended upon by someone who loves you.

I’m not going to lie… before law school started, I was a #baller. I was single, I had a bomb engineering salary that I worked really hard for, and I didn’t have anyone to spend that money on expect my numero uno chica… myself [insert Grit with sunhat on here].

So when C n I got married and he started law school, it was kind of a shock to my system. Humans are expensive, and especially humans who are commuting to El Lay every day for law school.

People love to tell me all the time that “someday C will pay you back for these years”. But the truth is, I could never pay C back. Because he has given me a purpose for three years. Every day I know who and what I am working for. When something at work really sucks, I know I’ll get through it because what better motivation could there possibly be than working hard for my C?

Being depended upon adds incredible value to your life and holy smokestacks batman, when you can see someone else’s successes as your successes? GAME CHANGER—there just isn’t anything better. A huge thank you to C for depending on me for these last three years and for providing me with that value and that purpose.

4. There are 99 opinions, but you only need one. (And that’s yours)

I saved this one for last because it is 100% the most important thing that C n I have learned over the past three years.

People are amazing with amazing experiences and have amazing wisdom to share. It’s so important to have an open heart and take in that wisdom. But it’s also important to have a strong connection to self so that you can separate that wisdom from its associated opinion.

Because everyone and their mother has an opinion about your life. Every last part of it. But only one person has to actually live your life and spoiler alert, that’s you.

Both C n I are people pleasers by nature, so we spent a long time trying to accommodate the opinions of others. Unfortunately, that’s a really great way to lose yourself because in no universe do two people have all the same opinions (not even me n C). And trying to be someone else all the time is just EXHAUSTING and extremely detrimental to your self-worth.

When you’re true to yourself, all things get easier. That’s a fact.

People who truly love you, love you because you’re YOU. And they don’t want you to be someone else! So embrace you. Stop second guessing. Start taking on life-giving tasks. Start having more fun 😊  And if you have people in your life who are trying to force you to be someone you’re not, it’s okay to cut them out. It will be better for both parties in the long run.

Now, in conclusion (if you’re still with me here S/O to you!!! hope you brought snacks for the journey) C n I are, OF COURSE, still babies who know approximately nothing about nothing, but we’re striving to learn every day. And the last three years have certainly made me excited about what’s to come 😊