Breakfast

It is fall here in Wyoming and I am 👏🏽HERE👏🏽FOR👏🏽IT👏🏽. Guys, I haven’t had a real live fall in YEARS and I utterly n completely forgot how ~~*magical*~~ it is🥰😍❤️ The only thing better than the cooler temps and fall colors? Fall flavors. ALL THE FALL FLAVORS🤤

Lets be real: caramel, maple, pumpkin spice, ginger, and chai? They’re great at all temps in all seasons. But there’s just something about the cozy weather, the fall leaves, and shorter days… idk what it is about it, but it really brings out these flavors more than an 80-degree day on the beach🤷🏽‍♀️ (though I wouldn’t complain about either, to be clear).

So yeah, you could say I’ve gone a little… overboard… on my fall baking😬 But look, C certainly isn’t complaining and it’s not like these fall treats are going uneaten in our fridge!🍁🍂

I’ve decided to kick off my fall saga with C’s favorite dish of the season: my Banana Foster Cake Cups (see what I did there😏😏) with Salty Banana Icing Cream (oooo SHE DID IT AGAIN). I know it sounds complicated but friends, the ingredients are so minimal, and they whip up in mere minutos💁🏽‍♀️ of course, your friends don’t need to know that😏

There is literally NO flour in these bad boys: just protein, banana, eggs, nut butter, baking soda, and flavoring. The moist level is off the charts (ew🤢 why do I say these things) and the cake cup holds the Salty Banana Icing Cream so gingerly n lovingly, society should be #inspired by the duo.

I think that sums it up about as annoyingly as possible so I’ll stop here.

Let me know if you have any questions! If you need me, I’ll be icing my leg n self esteem in a dark corner of my apartment. Box jumping is dangerous, kids.

HAPPY HUMP DAY internet friends!! 🤗❤️ 

You know when you just take everything you’re craving and slam it all together into one amazing, delicious, hits-every-spot kind of recipe? Enter these paleo, keto, and grain-free Peanut Butter Cinnamon Rolls.

I’ve been having a lot of fun recently with bulk foods. Obviously, they’re cheaper #holla but also, I’ve just been getting SO FED UP with the amount of waste associated with food products. When I think about the number of plastic protein tubs I’ve gone through… *shudder* NO MORE, FRIENDS.

The protein I used for these cinnamon rolls is a raw pea protein from @solryza and LET ME TELL YOU, baking without all those weird additional ingredients in my protein (what exactly are “Natural Flavors”??) was a complete game changer.

Each roll has 25 g of protein, 16 g healthy fat, and only 5 (?!) g carbs and can be customized to suit any level of sweet tooth. Let’s dive in, shall we?

Okay friends, I’m not going to lie to you here, I’m really kicking this Wyoming kitchen off with a serious BANGER of a recipe.

I’m going to be honest with you about another thing: I had my apprehensions about moving to Wyoming.

I LOVED MY EL LAY (err… Long Beach…) HOME OKAY? And Wyoming? Well its just a… tad… different. Far less people, far more cows. Far less kombucha, far more guns.

But these muffins? They are a flippin sign if I ever did receive one. I simply could not WAIT to dive into my new kitchen (*insert Kimmy K crying GIF here*) and I was needing a v heavy dose of chocolate comfort food; thus, was born: the Double Dark Chocolate Muffins.

These muffins are amazing. In fact, they came out SO GOOD that I had to immediately create another batch because (C has no self-control but also)  I needed to know that they were real and not a delish God-given chocolatey fluke.

Alas, they were not. Each muffin has only 3 g of carbs, 7 g of protein, and less than ONE gram of sugar *can we take a moment please* The fluff is REAL, the chocolate is even REALER, and they actually keep you full and keep your energy levels extra extra so you can live that extra life you deserve to live. So lets get into this!

We all deserve a little luxury in our life and TRUST ME when I tell ya, these Chocolate Cookie Donuts? They are LUXURY. Let me paint you a picture:

You know when you wake up on a Saturday morning and fresh sunlight has just begun to stream through your windows? They’re open, so your sheer white curtains are billowing in the breeze, creating dancing shadows across your plush linen-clad daybed, situated just adjacent to the open windows so you can feel the breeze on your skin as you move towards it at your leisure. You pour yourself a cup of coffee, select a freshly baked Chocolate Cookie Donut from your recently stocked repertoire of tasty treats baked just for you of only the finest ingredients, and make yourself cozy on your daybed. You take a bite into your chocolate cookie donut, close your eyes and suddenly, the birds are chirping, the flowers are blooming, and the whole world is waking up together <3

Okay literally I’m giggling as I type this because no, I don’t know.

Let’s try this again–the Long Beach version.

You know when you wake up on a Saturday morning and realize you fell asleep on Friday night without brushing your teeth? Your mouth tastes like its full of 100 copper pennies freshly picked off the floor of the NYC subway system. It’s a taste that literally shocks you out of bed and in your haste to get any, ANY form of cleansing chemical into your mouth, you slam your knee into your already slightly broken Ikea dresser, most certainly sealing its fate of destruction.

Not wanting to face your new need for a dresser purchase (and probably a knee brace) you refuse to turn on the light and use your hands to feel your way out of the bedroom and into the bathroom. After brushing your teeth with the ferocity of 1,000 barracudas, you unplug your TV, your computer charger, and your toaster so you can plug in your coffee machine and proceed with your morning routine of crossing both your fingers and your toes in hopes of a brewed cup of coffee without a side of blown fuses.

The windows are SLIGHTLY cracked because #whatsAC? But also you don’t want any more surprise visitors from the local transient population so you’re definitely not going to open them all the way. You hear your upstairs neighbor doing her morning routine of loudly dragging every piece of her furniture to the opposite side of the room multiple times (or at least that’s what you assume she’s doing based on the noises she makes) and the beautiful songs of police car sirens echoing in from somewhere out in Long Beach.

You pour yourself a cup of coffee (success!!!), select a freshly baked Chocolate Cookie Donut from your old, but functional, fridge and make yourself cozy on your second-hand Room and Board sofa. You take a bite into your Chocolate Cookie Donut, close your eyes, and suddenly, the police sirens fade into birds chirping, the smell of stale water is overcome by fresh blooming flowers, and the whole city is waking up together <3

It’s really amazing what a luxurious baked good can do for you😊 There’s just something about the silky-smooth texture of the inside of this cookie donut that eases away the strain of your every day morning. The chocolate literally melts in your mouth and even though you feel like you’re tasting all the indulgences that life has to offer, this low-carb n paleo treat is actually full of heathy hormone supporting fats that are certain to keep you energized and your moods level all morning long.

This Frankenstein creation has the crunchy chewy exterior of the cookie with the fluffy and light interior of your typical donut. And did I mention it’s a one-bowl dish that takes mere MINUTES to whip up? So you’re welcome in advance for this divine dish and without further ado, I give you, The Chocolate Cookie Donut:

It’s very important in our home to have snacks. Lots and lots of snacks. Or chaos TRULY can ensue. Which is why I am making these Peanut Butter Chocolate Dilly Bar Banana Bites all. the. time.

I think the best way to illustrate the importance of this recipe is by starting this post with a little insight into our El Lay lives.

A few months ago, our apartment was broken into. The culprit really didn’t take anything, but he/she trashed the place, leaving mud everywhere and our doors wide open. I’m lucky because it could have been a lot worse, but it still left me feeling shaken and insecure in my apartment.

About a week after that, C had a school event that went late, so I went to bed before he got home. Right after falling asleep, I woke up to the noises of someone with mud encrusted boots on walking around in our living room. Instinctively, I threw my arm across the bed to wake up C but when I did, I immediately froze with fear. C wasn’t in the bed. Of course, I thought, I just went to bed… he won’t be home for a few HOURS. I grabbed the kettlebell I keep under my bed (I know, a 30-lb kettlebell is v intimidating to a ruthless murdery home invader), pre-dialed 9-1-1 into my phone, and slowly rounded the corner into the living room.

I was both shocked and appalled by what I saw next. An undies-clad C was sitting on the couch in the living room, eyes closed, holding a half-eaten baguette in his hands (I was carb loading for a marathon at the time so I bought that baguette for me)

Yes, my C was sleep eating a three-foot-long baguette.

I double checked the time on my phone, and realized that it was 3AM; I had been asleep for HOURS. I watched in awe as C consumed literally FEET of baguette in his sleep. I must have been standing there awhile because he eventually woke up and was equally as weirded out to find me in front of him in my jammies, clutching my kettlebell to my chest.

Marriage man… it’s a weird thing.

The point I am trying to get across here, is that C is a master snacker. The kid requires a LOT of food. I grew up with brothers, I thought I knew what I was in for, but feeding C is like throwing sand dust into an incinerator. No matter how big his meals are, he’s CONSTANTLY snacking. And I’m not exaggerating, I will wake up with crackers embedded in my shoulders (#sexi) because my husband even sleep snacks.

So as you can see, I need to keep our kitchen STOCKED with healthy snacks, because if I don’t, C dives into the world of prepackaged cookies, crackers, chips, and candies. And while those things are great once in a while, they don’t do any favors to the tummy of my Crohn’s-ridden husband. 

One of my favorite go-to’s (and probably C’s favorite) are my paleo Peanut Butter Cup Dilly Bar Banana Bites. It’s a lot of words, I know, but the treat lives up to all of them. First of all, they are stupid easy to make, the ingredients are cheap, and they are stored in the freezer, so I can make HUGE batches at a time. They’re a rounded-out snack of protein, fat, and carbs, so they actually fill C up and keep him full (at least somewhat full… it is C after all) and TBH, I love them too. If a Reece’s peanut butter cup and a DQ Dilly Bar had paleo a baby, this would be it.

Perhaps the best part is that C can sleep eat these bad boys all night long without leaving me afraid n kettlebell-armed on the phone with the police in our living room at 3AM. I’m sure you can relate.

So WITHOUT FURTHER ADO: I present to you, paleo Peanut Butter Cup Dilly Bar Banana Bites.

Alright folks… the blog has been live for a couple months now, so it’s about time I talk a little bit about engineering.

I recently went on a work trip to Nashville, Tennessee. What a fun area, right? The live music, the beautiful mountains, the amazing food, the rich historical architecture, the top of the line boiler manufacturers, the revolutionary plastic pipe fabricators… oh, I’m sorry… Is that not what you go to see when you visit Nashville? Have I lost you? How strange.

Well if you’re as #lucky as I am, that IS what you see when you go to Nashville. Especially when a big fat fancy boiler company books your flight out there from LA, covers the hotel, and hosts a two-day long factory tour, with fancy equipment, fancy demonstrations, expensive show floors, and extravagant technical presentations… and boy oh boy, was I impressed. By the peanut butter.

On the first day, we were given a breakfast spread upon arrival. What is it about breakfast spreads? You could cut up cardboard, put it on plates, serve it with coffee, tell me it’s a breakfast spread, and I would ooh and ahh over the lovely and thoughtful treat. Needless to say, when it comes to breakfast spreads, I’m easy to please.

So when I spread some assumed run-of-the-mill no-name label-less peanut butter on to my cardboard (maybe it was toast? A bagel? PVC pipe? WHO KNOWS FRIENDS) and bit in, I was SHOCKED. Confused. AMAZED. Peanuts were dancing upon my tongue. My taste buds sang out in choruses of joy and worship. My mouth shone with the light of a thousand suns. This peanut butter didn’t belong in the breakfast spread. It belonged in a shrine. A temple. A pair of AGs.

I spent the rest of the tour thinking about this peanut butter, talking about my peanut revelation to anyone who would listen to my new heightened appreciation . Because HELLO, I already loved peanut butter. It’s cheap, it’s delicious, and all you need is a spoon and a jar for a delicious sugar-free dessert. Plus, it packs a fatty PUNCH with a gentle butterfly kiss of protein. I mean c’mon man. What’s not to love.

But this peanut butter—it was NEXT LEVEL. In fact, by the time I finished the tour, the boiler factory staff was so… aware… of my… appreciation… that before I left, they sent me home with the jar. “Perhaps if we just give her the f—ing peanut butter, she’ll shut the hell up about it and we can get back to boilers”.

OH BOY WERE THEY WRONG. Because I’m still going on about the peanut butter.

So when I arrived back home, a new fat bomb muffin was created. A muffin that properly packs the peanut buttery punch captured in that magnificent jar. Another #PHAT muffin that I can eat every morning without the sugar and carbs that make my energy levels crash and cause me to crave crap food in my cube.

These delicious muffins are grain-free, gluten-free, keto, paleo, fluffy, protein-powered, and feature a creamy paleo coconut peanut butter frosting. It’s a regular in my fatty muffin circulation (if you know, you KNOW) and they whip up so fast. Plus you can add whatever toppings you happen to be craving that day… I have featured some of my favorites here: banana and cinnamon (esp if you’re subbing mashed banana for pumpkin, see below), strawberries, blueberries, and OF COURSE coconut (this should surprise absolutely no one).

Plus, having this magnificent peanut butter in a muffin felt a little less weird than eating it out of an opened jar of peanut butter that had been shared by a large group of strangers and gifted to me by a factory floor worker. EITHER WAY, it’s worth the #healthrisks 😊

Ok no more engineering talk. Let’s get into the recipe.

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